We’ve all heard of the term midlife crisis and have a general idea of what it means, right?

Most of us have also probably thought that we would either have one or skip it… and we’d just have to see how it goes when that time arrives!

With that said, some people are out there having midlife glow ups instead of crises, and not identifying with the word crisis at all!

So, it’s clear that we do have a choice! We have the power to decide if we’ll take all that life has taught us up until our forties through sixties and have ourselves a crisis or a healthy little… or big glow up!

If you’re thinking a glow up sounds more like your vibe, we have 10 ways to intentionally live your best midlife!

1. Acknowledge your feelings… Don't ignore your feelings or pretend nothing is wrong when you’re down. Instead, try to explore your concerns and make the most of them. You can talk to people you trust, journal your thoughts and give yourself the compassion of self-understanding, self-validation and self-assurance.

2. Develop a sense of purpose… Set new goals, learn new skills or hobbies, meditate, or travel. A recent Mel Robbins & Dr. Doty interview talks about the life purpose of the human species, and that no matter what we’re doing each day we can keep that purpose as our intention. Skip ahead to minute 26:13-28:35 if you aren’t able to listen to the whole interview.

3. Appreciate change… Try to embrace new challenges instead of worrying about them by acknowledging the positive aspects of new situations, actively seek out opportunities within the change, practice gratitude for what you're learning, embrace the potential for growth, and actively look for ways to adapt and contribute positively to the newness; essentially, focus on the benefits and possibilities that change can bring rather than resisting it. 

4. Contextualize nostalgia and regret… It's important to remember that hindsight can be misleading. If the feeling of missing the past is what’s causing midlife depression, try to remember all the details of what was happening during the time in your life that you’re missing. A lot of times the mind will remember the good things about the past and forget the less desirable things that were happening during that same time period; and it will do the same for the events of today. So, you never know, this could be your best era ever and you don’t know it yet!

5. Learn something new… Learning something new can keep you engaged and give you a sense of accomplishment. I recently found some interesting information about learning new things in my birth chart… It said that we often feel the same while we’re learning new things as we do when we’re traveling, going on day trips and fun adventures. You might not physically be going anywhere, but learning something new can be as renewing and beneficial for our minds as going on a beautiful dream vacation.

6. Practice gratitude… If this isn’t something that comes naturally to you, (same here), try writing down three things you're grateful for each night while the day’s events are still fresh on your mind.

7. Practice self-care… Make time for yourself, visualize your dreams, meditate, do your favorite things, nurture your friendships, and maintain your own life. 

8. Connect with like-minded people… You can encourage and build each other up even if that just means sending each other relatable reels and hilarious screen shots to add some fun and positive vibes to each other’s days!

9. Couples therapy… Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn to communicate better, restore intimacy and get extra flirty again! Who needs a midlife affair when you can have deeper intimacy and much steamier PDA (if that’s your love language), with your actual person.

10. Re-parent yourself… This is an effective form of self-therapy that can impact so much of our daily lives. RuPaul has an amazing class in the Masterclass App where they talk about re-parenting themselves and Dr. Doty also touches on this therapy in his interview with Mel Robbins. Re-parenting isn't to say that our parents or any adult caretaker in our lives did a bad job, it’s just that as children it’s common to internalize outside factors that we couldn’t have controled as being our fault.

    Re-parenting is a form of therapy that we can do by ourselves if prefer or with the guidance of a therapist as needed. It can be used in midlife to give ourselves the compassion we deserve as we go through difficult situations, realizations, regrets, nostalgia, etc.

Sources: Linked throughout this post.

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